Disclaimer: Bleach is by Kubo Tite. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

Note: This was written for the Gateway Bleach Contest, round 1. Also, title is intentionally grammatically incorrect.
( My titles are longer than my fics. )

Disclaimer: This is a vignette, or short-short. It's also a spoof or farcical parody, so who owns what doesn't enter the equation. Anyway I make no money by writing this or posting it on the internet.( Read the Spoof )

Disclaimer: X-Men are by Marvel; Discworld is by Pratchett. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

( Read the Story )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Books are by J K Rowling. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.( Read the Story )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by J K Rowling; Shakespeare is public domain. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

ROMEO AND JULIET HOGWARTS' STYLE - 5( Read the Play )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by J K Rowling; Shakespeare is public domain. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

ROMEO AND JULIET HOGWARTS' STYLE - 4( Read the Play )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by J K Rowling; Shakespeare is public domain. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

ROMEO AND JULIET HOGWARTS' STYLE - 3( Read the Play )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by J K Rowling; Shakespeare is public domain. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

ROMEO AND JULIET, HOGWARTS STYLE - 2( Read the Play )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by J K Rowling. Shakespeare is public domain. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

NOTE: Methought of a great idea! Why not utterly desecrate Shakespeare for one of my ignoble pastiches and spoofs? Why not indeed. So I'm rewriting Romeo and Juliet. It's all William's fault! 'My only love sprung from my only hate'...! C'mon! Who can resist it? I can't. I had a long debate about who should be who, because, of course of the 'deny thy father' thingy, but in the end I couldn't resist Voldie as Paris, so I think Romeo will highjack that particular piece of Juliet's rant and that will be that.

Well, I'm the parodist, I can do it.

I've also decided that, being, as it were, a double agent, Snape will have a double role: he'll both be Capulet and the Nurse. Because I'm cruel, that's why.

There'll be unabriged and abriged Shakespearean verse (I've mangled quite a few) and lots of prose with thous and thees thrown in every now and then. To give it a flavour, y'know? There's also a mini-tiny-wee tribute to Maya in this section. Because she started a Veela!Harry fic and she deserves tributes.

And so, without further ado, let me present:

ROMEO AND JULIET, HOGWARTS STYLE( REad the Play )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by J K Rowling; the X-Men are Marvel's; LotR is the Tolkien estate's. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

HARRY POTTER AND THE BOOK THAT NEVER WAS( Read the Story )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by J K Rowling; the X-Men are Marvel's; LotR is Tolkien's estate. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.

HARRY POTTER AND THE BOOK THAT NEVER WAS( Read more... )

Disclaimer is at the end of the story for reasons of suspense and surprise. I make no money writing this and posting it on the internet.

NOTE: The idea for the style of this one-shot came from Mick'n'Star's wonderful "Moods" series. I have Star's permission to use it and Star betaed this for me. I wish you all such a lovely ruthless beta as Star.
BTW this is so AU you have to imagine infinite multiverses to accept it as even approaching Canon. Also I'm not American and I can't do the dialect, forgive me, but rather than attempt a pitiful parody of a very respectable dialect, I forsook it entirely.

DREAM PEDDLER( Read the Story )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by JK Rowling. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.
NOTE: This fic was written 2005, way before DH, so it's now AU. I like this Alternate Universe of mine in which people have brains and do not pine for a snotty Mary Sue for 24 years.

ANATOMY OF BETRAYAL
A Consideration( Read the Story )

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter books are by JK Rowling. I make no money by writing this and posting it on the internet.
NOTE: This fic was written 2005, way before DH, so it's now AU. I like this Alternate Universe of mine in which people have brains and do not pine for a snotty Mary Sue for 24 years.

ANATOMY OF BETRAYAL
A consideration( Read the Story )

Disclaimer: Loveless is by Kouga Yun. I make no money writing this and posting it on the internet.

Note: The lines spoken by Soubi and Ritzuka are quotes from Volume 1, Chapter 1.

SOUBI( Read the Story )